apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
