OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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