This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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