After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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