last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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