dude i'm inner monologue high
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
