you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
