you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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