at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
