1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
