how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you win again, gameday.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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