paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize