the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
