Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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