I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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