so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
