worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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