I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
