Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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