dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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