She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
