I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
