found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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