you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
