Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
