I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
