he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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