WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
