So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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