in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
