We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
third nipple confirmed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
