remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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