its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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