The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
