marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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