there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My ATM looks so different sober.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
