you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
