dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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