How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
