p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
