I heard we made out
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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