Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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