The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your penis caused this!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
