sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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