i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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