seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
