My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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