Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
