is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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