you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
